First kind...
John wakes up after the annual office Christmas party with a splitting headache and cotton-mouth, and is unable to recall the events of the preceding evening.
After going to the bathroom, he makes his way downstairs, where his wife puts a cup of coffee in front of him.
"Louise," he moans, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?"
"Even worse," she says, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You antagonized the entire board of directors and insulted the president of the company, right to his face."
"He's an idiot," John says. "Piss on him."
"You did," she replies, "and he fired you."
"Well, screw him!" John says.
"I did," she replies. "You're back at work on Monday."
The other kind...
The wife comes home early & finds her husband in their master bedroom making love to a beautiful, young lady!
"You unfaithful, disrespectful pig! What are you doing? How dare you do this to me the faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving this house, I want divorce!"
The husband, replies "Wait, Wait a minute! Before you leave, at least listen to what happened. You can't say I'm dishonest."
"Hmm, I don't know, well, it'll be the last thing I will hear from you. But make it fast, you unfaithful pig, you!"
The husband begins to tell his story . . "While driving home this young lady asked for a ride. I saw her so defenseless that I went ahead and allowed her in my car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She mentioned that at she had not eaten for 3 days. With great compassion I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas that I made for you last night that you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll gain weight; the poor thing practically devoured them."
"Since she was very dirty I asked if she wanted to take a shower. While she was showering, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw her clothes away. Since she needed clothes, I gave her the pair of jeans that you have had for a few years, that you can no longer wear because they are too tight on you, I also gave her the blouse that I gave you on our anniversary and you don't wear because I don't have good taste."
"I gave her the pullover that my sister gave you for Christmas that you will not wear just to bother my sister and I also gave her the boots that you bought at the expensive boutique that you never wore again after you saw your co-worker wearing the same pair."
The husband continues his story . . . . .
"The young woman was very grateful to me and I walked her to the door. When we got to the door she turned around and with tears coming out of her eyes, she asks me: "Sir, do you have anything else that your wife does not use?"
KEEP SHARING AND SMILE WHILE READING...
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